Subject: Random thoughts
- Deja Vu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked
in the head like this before.
ON DEEP THOUGHTS
- A day without sunshine is like night.
ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES
- There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane."
If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you
take it back and demand a refund?
ON HIGHER EDUCATION
- College is a fountain of knowledge...and the students are there
ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
- A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
- "Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's
not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
-- Steven King, 3/8/90
ON PROBLEM SOLVING
- When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
resemble a nail.
-- Abraham Maslow
ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES
- Photons have mass? I didn't know they were catholic!
- If you had everything, where would you keep it?
- The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
- I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because
someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at
-- English Professor, Ohio University
ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
- What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
- When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional
division by zero.
- Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
ON POETIC LOVE
- When you're swimmin' in the creek
- And an eel bites your cheek
- That's a moray!
-- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
- Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub
with brightly colored machine tools.
ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
- Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.
- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
- This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown
with great force.
- -- Dorothy Parker
- To err is human, to moo bovine.
ON EXPLANATION OF THE END
- "... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was
that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination
of their C programs."
-- Robert Firth
- The meek shall inherit the earth---they are too weak to refuse.
- I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
-- Joe Walsh
- Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large values
ON WORLD POLITICS
- Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find
AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
- There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and
UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
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